Joke of the Day #3

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.

He starts eating the beer nuts and sipping his drink when he hears a voice say,"Wow! You look GREAT tonight!"

There's nobody nearby, so the man shakes it off and keeps drinking.

Suddenly, he hears something again!"That's an awesome shirt! You are amazing!"

He looks around and he's the only guy at the bar. He mentions that he thinks he's hearing things and the bartender says, "Lemme guess, somebody's saying really nice things about you, right?"

The man jumps up and cries out "Yes! How did you know that?"

The bartender just chuckles and replies, "It's the nuts... they're complimentary!"

Joke of the Day #2

A goldfish in a tank looks over at his buddy and says, "You drive... I'll man the guns!"


I had to think about this one for an hour and then Google it before I got the joke! Sad, huh? lol...

Joke of the Day #1

A guy sits down in a bar next to a good-looking lady and says, "Fat penguin."

She looks at him with a shocked expression and says, "What?"

So he replies, "Well, I just wanted to say something that would break the ice!"



Ba-da-boom... thanks, Laura!