The Christmas Spirit...

A friend recently posted this video on her Facebook page and it inspired me to try something different this year. I'm going to make most of my holiday gifts for friends and family, or I'm going to recycle things that I already have and would love to share with others around me. In addition, I'm going to match the money I spend on gifts, supplies for making gifts, wrapping, and shipping by donating to charities that make a difference in the world.

Of course, this adventure has required me to get started early, and here's what I've already noticed:

1. I love being artistic, but it's something I often fail to make time for in my day-to-day life. Making gifts for other people has given me an amazing reason to be artistic, rather than coming home and plopping down in front of a computer game or book. So it has been a real gift to myself, too.

2. Making a promise to match my holiday spending with charitable giving is forcing me to be creative and think about every dollar I spend. I'm doing things like making my wrapping paper out of materials I already have in order to save money. And that's a good thing... because rampant consumerism is definitely NOT a good thing. (If you're not sure why I say that, check out www.storyofstuff.org)

3. For the first time in years, holiday gifts mean something to me. You see, I've already logged hours of time making gifts, and I've spent each of those hours thinking about the people I love... reminiscing about our times together... trying to envision what they would enjoy the most. That's what Christmas is really about. It's a lot more work than clicking the "buy" button at some Internet shopping site, but it's been so worth it to me.

4. I haven't had to survive the obnoxious crowds, super-sappy holiday music, long lines, and "buy, buy, buy" messages that bombard people in malls and stores these days. Which means I get to decide what Christmas is about for me, rather than letting pop culture decide for me. And I've got more time for making those gifts... do you see the cycle?

5. I get to honor my friends and family AND make a difference in the world through charitable giving. That gives me warm fuzzy feelings inside.

So if you're reading this, here's my request: take a few minutes to watch the video and decide how YOU'RE going to make a difference this year. Maybe it will be something small... that's okay. It all starts with small acts of kindness.

And please know that you'll be getting something relatively small or hand-made from me... and that I don't expect anything expensive or extravagant from you, either. Your love and friendship is enough... everything else is just a bonus!

Hello... Love... Are You Out There???

What happened to the days when people married their high school sweethearts?

What happened to the days when people stayed together for decades without wondering if they were missing out on something better or playing the field to size up the competition?

What happened to the days when people couldn't wait to get married because of all the things they weren't allowing themselves to do until AFTER that sacred ceremony (ahem... I think you know what I'm talking about here...)?

Don't get me wrong... I know those days haven't disappeared completely. And I also know that I've phrased these questions to present a highly romanticized version of old-fashioned love.

But I'm starting to feel like there's an epidemic of independence among my generation. We were so eager to do things differently than our parents that we walked away from some traditions that weren't so bad to start with.

So now I find myself in a bit of a predicament at age 30. I'm single... and at times I'm lonely.

I'm not lonely in a day-to-day, sitting-alone-in-my-room-being-depressed kind of way. I have lots of amazing friends and a fairly active social life. I attend events that interest me and I've got plenty of people to call when I need to chat.

But I'm lonely in a deep, abiding, who-will-I-share-the-rest-of-my-life-with kind of way.

I want someone that loves me just the way I am... someone that I can love completely, too. I want the security of knowing I don't have to be playing mind games and staying one step ahead of my partner. I want someone to share my secrets with. And I want to be a mother, with an amazing father by my side.

I'm not the only thirty-something person I know in this situation... in fact more of my friends are single than married. And while the single life has plenty of benefits, many of us are beginning to feel an urge to settle down.

But where do you go when you're ready to settle down? Where do you find true love?

I never realized how easy it was to date in high school and college until I started to seriously consider the idea of dating as an adult a few years back.

Back then, we were surrounded by people in our age group who shared lots of things in common... if nothing else, we were in the same classes so we always had something to talk about. And our "world" was small enough back then that it wasn't too difficult to figure out who was single and who was already in a relationship.

Now we have.... Internet dating... and speed dating... and bars... and Craigslist... yeeecccchh.

Don't worry, I haven't given up on love. But I am asking for help:

1. Do you know any fantastic (and single) guys who are equally frustrated with the challenges of meeting great women who are looking for committed relationships? Send 'em to this blog or give 'em my phone number...

2. Do you know of other ways to meet people... ways that actually allow you to get to know one another and share common interests, rather than just getting drunk and trying to look cool? Share 'em in the comments section or give me a call and let me know...

3. Do you have any other words of inspiration or advice? Lemme know, please...

Until then, I'll leave you with this quote from Leo Buscaglia:

"Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain."