What happened to the days when people married their high school sweethearts?
What happened to the days when people stayed together for decades without wondering if they were missing out on something better or playing the field to size up the competition?
What happened to the days when people couldn't wait to get married because of all the things they weren't allowing themselves to do until AFTER that sacred ceremony (ahem... I think you know what I'm talking about here...)?
Don't get me wrong... I know those days haven't disappeared completely. And I also know that I've phrased these questions to present a highly romanticized version of old-fashioned love.
But I'm starting to feel like there's an epidemic of independence among my generation. We were so eager to do things differently than our parents that we walked away from some traditions that weren't so bad to start with.
So now I find myself in a bit of a predicament at age 30. I'm single... and at times I'm lonely.
I'm not lonely in a day-to-day, sitting-alone-in-my-room-being-depressed kind of way. I have lots of amazing friends and a fairly active social life. I attend events that interest me and I've got plenty of people to call when I need to chat.
But I'm lonely in a deep, abiding, who-will-I-share-the-rest-of-my-life-with kind of way.
I want someone that loves me just the way I am... someone that I can love completely, too. I want the security of knowing I don't have to be playing mind games and staying one step ahead of my partner. I want someone to share my secrets with. And I want to be a mother, with an amazing father by my side.
I'm not the only thirty-something person I know in this situation... in fact more of my friends are single than married. And while the single life has plenty of benefits, many of us are beginning to feel an urge to settle down.
But where do you go when you're ready to settle down? Where do you find true love?
I never realized how easy it was to date in high school and college until I started to seriously consider the idea of dating as an adult a few years back.
Back then, we were surrounded by people in our age group who shared lots of things in common... if nothing else, we were in the same classes so we always had something to talk about. And our "world" was small enough back then that it wasn't too difficult to figure out who was single and who was already in a relationship.
Now we have.... Internet dating... and speed dating... and bars... and Craigslist... yeeecccchh.
Don't worry, I haven't given up on love. But I am asking for help:
1. Do you know any fantastic (and single) guys who are equally frustrated with the challenges of meeting great women who are looking for committed relationships? Send 'em to this blog or give 'em my phone number...
2. Do you know of other ways to meet people... ways that actually allow you to get to know one another and share common interests, rather than just getting drunk and trying to look cool? Share 'em in the comments section or give me a call and let me know...
3. Do you have any other words of inspiration or advice? Lemme know, please...
Until then, I'll leave you with this quote from Leo Buscaglia:
"Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain."