Whoa... First Blog this Month!

Whoa! My life has really shifted in the past few months!

My life before = lots of time on the computer or watching DVDs... journaling... thinking and writing about life and how it could be and what kinds of things I like to do... with outings spattered in from time to time

My life now = actually LIVING! out and about... with friends and family... on the phone talking to people I love... playing around with WHAT ELSE I can fit into my schedule that matters to me... making a difference and being in the moment... dating - A LOT... having fun and realizing that I haven't watched a movie or blogged in weeks, and I don't really miss it.

Much of this shift happened when I stopped thinking about how the future was going to be and just started living into it so that I could find out.

Really, it started when I invented the possibility of ACTION and blogged about it back in January. What a ride it's been since then...!

I am so grateful for the training I've gotten through Landmark Education - it gave me the tools to invent new possibilities and the ability to have my life shift in an instant. From here on out, I get to say how it goes! I get to choose the kind of life I want to live. That truly is extraordinary!

If you're in my life on a regular basis, you may have heard me share about Landmark. Either way, please know that I HIGHLY recommend it and I know it can make a huge difference for everyone. If you want more information, just ask me about it or take a look at the website - www.landmarkeducation.com. Believe me, it's well worth it!

And if you really want more information now, there's a free workshop at my house this Sunday afternoon - I would love to have you there. Just write or call for the details...! :)

SoulCollage... Peaceful Warriors

I love this SoulCollage* card! I created it at a time when I was feeling very powerful within myself, but was not yet translating that power into action in the world. I look at this card when I need to remember to stand up for the things that matter in the world. It inspires me to make a HUGE difference in the world... it remind me that there is more at stake than just my life.

Here's the SoulCollage card and the corresponding reading. As you read the words below, listen to them as if the card is speaking to you. In this instance, the three beings in the card speak as one voice... working together as a team.

We are the Peaceful Warriors. We are the ones who stand up for Justice, anywhere and everywhere. We do not bow down to the actions of others... we bow only to our conscience, the collective conscience of all creatures. We each feel small as individuals, yet together we are unstoppable. We stand before the greatest evils without backing down. We rise up against that which we know to be harmful to the world.

We do not act without fear; rather, we act even in the presence of our fear. We recognize that the first step towards action is to witness. Do not turn away from the things that frighten you. Do not turn away from the things that trouble you. Do not turn away from the things that seem bigger than you. This world may not be perfect, yet the presence of those who are willing to make a difference is more powerful than all the evil that exists.

We are here to remind you of who you are. You make a difference all the time, when you are aware of it and when you are not. Choose the difference that you will make in this lifetime. Choose to stand up for your ideals. Choose to stand up for those who are too small or too frightened to speak for themselves. Choose justice, choose peace, and choose to fight when it is the only means left to defend your fundamental values.

We need you to know this: you must stand up for Justice now, or you will look over your shoulder with regrets in the future. Do not wait until it is too late.

You will remember us when you see others being disempowered. You will remember us in the moments when you want to look away from pain and sorrow. You will remember us when you see tears in the eyes of others. You will remember us when you feel shame for your actions and the actions of others. You will remember us and you will stand up. You will remember us, and you will choose to make a difference in the world.

Who I Am (A Declaration)

Who am I?

I am an optimist. I am an idealist.

I am the possibility of freedom and joy.

I believe freedom and joy are available to every person... in every moment... in the face of every circumstance life has to offer.

Finding freedom and joy in each moment gives access to power.

My interpretation of reality becomes my reality.
My interpretation of reality is my power, and it cannot be taken from me.

I am the words that I speak, for those words create my interpretation of reality.
Therefore, my word is my power.

I am a member of a worldwide community...
one that inspires me and one that I am proud to be part of.
That community is called "human beings."

I am on this planet to make a difference.

My presence and my way of being impacts everyone around me...
both when I am aware of that impact and when I'm not.

I choose to be a force for good in the world.

I am committed to self-expression.

I am committed to my own freedom and joy...
and to your freedom and joy, too.


Who are you?

You are my friend, my family, my lover.

You hold in your hands the promise of a new future.
You are everything-nothing.

You are a member of my community... the community of human beings.
You are a reflection of me, and I am a reflection of you.

In the end, there is only we.

Lights... Camera... What Comes Next?

Imagine me, sitting in front of a not-so-interesting episode of Battlestar Galactica...

Now imagine a bolt of inspiration from out of the blue... ice skating!

That pretty much sums up last Sunday afternoon for me. And it's not too uncommon in my world.

You see, I have this gift of being struck with inspiration on a regular basis... and it usually comes at the least expected moments and takes the least expected forms.

But here's where this particular idea took a different path - I actually followed through on it!

So often, I get a really exciting idea and I play it out in my head for days. "Ooooh... I could do this... or that... or maybe it would be fun to..." Well, you get the idea. And don't get me wrong, having a fantastic, inspiring, and active life in my head is great fun - and it's pretty safe and easy, too! I don't have to venture out in the rain, I don't have to expend much energy, it's completely free, and I don't have to risk any kind of social rejection. It's also lonely...

So this week I invented the possibility of action... being in action, inspiring others to action, having my actions make a difference in the world. When an inspiring thought appears in my mind, I'm committed to translating it into action right away!

So when "Ice skating!" popped into my head Sunday, I got on the net and changed my Facebook status. "Amy wants to ice skate this week. Anyone interested?" A few people showed interest, so I created an event invitation and sent it out.

And when I was thinking about the event and "Hot chocolate!" popped into my head, I started calling around to find a hot water dispenser. The result? A local Starbucks donated a huge carafe filled with hot water... for free!

And when the thought "Snacks!" showed up, I mentioned it to a few friends and we ended up with so much food it barely fit on the table!

The result: This afternoon, seventeen fantastic people from my community joined me at the Lloyd Center Ice Rink and we had a blast! We welcomed in 2009... we ate up lots of leftover munchies from last night's New Year's Eve parties... we fell, and we laughed about it... we met new people... we ice skated!

And tonight, I'm going dancing. Now THAT'S what I call action!

Australia Pics...

In July 2007, I had the chance to visit Sydney, Australia. Through a twist of fate, I thought all the pics from the trip were lost. But I was just transferring a memory disk from my old digital camera and found most of them! So I thought I'd share... lots of good memories here!


I stayed in several youth hostels in the part of Sydney called King's Cross, a bohemian neighborhood known for its crazy nightlife. I did a lot of walking in the city, and I could always find my way home at night by heading towards this HUGE lit-up Coke billboard, which marks the entrance to King's Cross...

I also spent a few days at a hostel in Bondi Beach, the surf capital just south of Sydney. This is the pool at a member's club in Bondi - it was a saltwater pool, and the waves would literally crash right into the pool when the tide was high!

The highlight of my time in Bondi Beach was a cliffside trail leading from Bondi south to Coogee - several hours walking round trip. It was gorgeous! The coast is rocky and wild... a lot like Oregon's coast, but with fascinating vegetation that I'd never seen before.

There was a huge, eerie cemetary halfway between Bondi and Coogee. A sign said that lots of Irish immigrants had settled in the area in the 19th and 20th centuries and had been buried here. You could see many Irish and English names on the tombstones, which sat on a cliff overlooking the ocean.

Here are some of the houses up on the cliff as you enter Coogee. The light was gorgeous that day... a series of storms had just come through the day before, and the sky was the most brilliant blue I've ever seen.

As I rounded the curve into this small cove, I saw the most beautiful rainbow... both sides touched the ground!

The seasons are reversed in Australia, so it was winter in July. It was about 40 degrees out, and the waves were still pretty fierce from the previous day's storm. I was amazed at how many die-hard surfers were still out on the water, though...

At Featherdale Wildlife Park, you can get up-close and personal with all kinds of Aussie animals.

I loved watching the dingoes... they remind me so much of Abby! :)

Beautiful trees on the way up to the Blue Mountains. This was at a rest area called Echo Point, where we had a gorgeous view of the famous Three Sisters rock formation.

The Blue Mountains...

This was taken in the rain forest that's down in the valleys of the Blue Mountains. It's amazing how much darker and colder it was down in those valleys, thanks to the heavy tree cover in the rain forest.

Overall, I had an amazing trip. I think the most incredible part of it, though, was the fact that I went in the first place. You see, I was in the middle of a six-month long Landmark Education leadership training course that was very challenging... and I decided to drop out of the course. After a few weeks, though, I thought more about my decision and wanted to rejoin the course. However, I had missed a critical training weekend. The course leaders told me that the only way I could rejoin the program and graduate with my friends is if I flew to Sydney, Australia to make up the training... that weekend!


I made the decision to go on a Tuesday morning... I drove to Seattle Wednesday to apply for an expedited passport... I got on the plane Friday morning... and I had a blast!


That was the first time I learned that I really can make ANYTHING happen if I put my mind to it... I am capable of being truly unstoppable! What a valuable life lesson... if only we all knew how powerful we really are!

SoulCollage... Patience

This was the first SoulCollage* card I ever created, at a workshop I took for my birthday in 2007. At that point in my life, I had such a strong desire to be a mother that I couldn't imagine waiting another second. When I saw these images come together on the page and began "listening" to the voice of the infant, I cried.

I realized that the journey to motherhood is happening right now... every day. I will give birth someday in the future... but I am BECOMING a mother as we speak. And everything is unfolding perfectly. And most days, I wait patiently.

Here's the SoulCollage card and the corresponding reading. As your read the words below, listen to them as if the card is speaking to you. In this instance, it is the voice of the infant that we are hearing.

I am the one who waits patiently, knowing that all things will unfold in due time. I honor the process and trust in the Universe to provide for me. I cherish the moment, recognizing everything as perfect... whole and complete, just the way it is right now.

I flow with my circumstances, shifting as needed to be ready for whatever comes next. I represent the balance between being Present in the current moment and looking forward to the future that lies ahead.

I am here to remind you that life is happening right now. THIS is what it's all about... THIS moment... right now. You cannot reach that which you strive for without moving through that which exists right now.

You will remember me when you need it most - when you feel the knot in your stomach that tells you, "Something is wrong here." In that moment, remember the lesson of the pearl - even the most challenging things become beautiful treasures when we accept them for what they are.

We are unfolding together. We are birthing the next moment... and the next... and the next. We are creating beautiful treasures together, right now.

* SoulCollage is the process, developed by Seena B. Frost, of creating and "reading" a deck of collaged cards from found images - cards that are arranged in suits for the primary purpose of self-exploration and self-acceptance. SoulCollage cards are made from original purchased art (e.g., art published in magazines, calendars, books, cards, etc.) and personal materials (e.g., photos). SoulCollage cards are not to be sold, traded, or bartered and are to be reproduced only for the personal use of the maker of the card. For more information about this amazing process, check out http://www.soulcollage.com/ or http://www.kaleidosoul.com/.

The Christmas Spirit...

A friend recently posted this video on her Facebook page and it inspired me to try something different this year. I'm going to make most of my holiday gifts for friends and family, or I'm going to recycle things that I already have and would love to share with others around me. In addition, I'm going to match the money I spend on gifts, supplies for making gifts, wrapping, and shipping by donating to charities that make a difference in the world.

Of course, this adventure has required me to get started early, and here's what I've already noticed:

1. I love being artistic, but it's something I often fail to make time for in my day-to-day life. Making gifts for other people has given me an amazing reason to be artistic, rather than coming home and plopping down in front of a computer game or book. So it has been a real gift to myself, too.

2. Making a promise to match my holiday spending with charitable giving is forcing me to be creative and think about every dollar I spend. I'm doing things like making my wrapping paper out of materials I already have in order to save money. And that's a good thing... because rampant consumerism is definitely NOT a good thing. (If you're not sure why I say that, check out www.storyofstuff.org)

3. For the first time in years, holiday gifts mean something to me. You see, I've already logged hours of time making gifts, and I've spent each of those hours thinking about the people I love... reminiscing about our times together... trying to envision what they would enjoy the most. That's what Christmas is really about. It's a lot more work than clicking the "buy" button at some Internet shopping site, but it's been so worth it to me.

4. I haven't had to survive the obnoxious crowds, super-sappy holiday music, long lines, and "buy, buy, buy" messages that bombard people in malls and stores these days. Which means I get to decide what Christmas is about for me, rather than letting pop culture decide for me. And I've got more time for making those gifts... do you see the cycle?

5. I get to honor my friends and family AND make a difference in the world through charitable giving. That gives me warm fuzzy feelings inside.

So if you're reading this, here's my request: take a few minutes to watch the video and decide how YOU'RE going to make a difference this year. Maybe it will be something small... that's okay. It all starts with small acts of kindness.

And please know that you'll be getting something relatively small or hand-made from me... and that I don't expect anything expensive or extravagant from you, either. Your love and friendship is enough... everything else is just a bonus!

Things I'm Thankful For...

• My parents, who have always loved me and supported me despite all the crap I've put them through.
• My first love, Adam... I'll never forget what it felt like to be loved for who I am. I know I'll find that again someday.
• The children in my class - they are so small and vulnerable, yet they radiate joy and trust. They remind me of the things that really matter in life.
• The parents of the children in my class, for trusting me with their most important treasures every day.
• Megan O, my best friend and the sister I never had, for loving me through the ups and the downs. Here's to a bright future together, raising our kids and playing in the sunshine and making art and... well, you know.
• Nike, for respecting teachers and paying us accordingly.
• All my amazing friends, near and far... and the technology that helps us keep in touch, even in the midst of our busy lives.
• My dog Abby Lou... she's the best hiking buddy a girl could ever ask for and she's worth all the shoes she's chewed up over the years.
• My co-teachers and suitemates, who make it a joy to wake up and go to work every day.
• Portland, Oregon... finally a place that feels like home.
• Music... my lifeblood... when I can't find the words, I can always find a song to express how I feel.
• Barack Obama, who helped me rediscover the part of myself that cares about where our nation is headed.
• Landmark Education. I really wouldn't be who I am today without a three-day course called the Landmark Forum.
• Art... which comes in many forms, and hides inside all of us.
• The people who take the time to smile as they pass me on the sidewalk each day.
• Freedom and love and joy and celebrations and diversity and friends and family and heartache and trust and all the other things that make us human.
• I'm grateful for every day in this beautiful Universe!

What I Listen to on the Tough Days....

I don't adhere to any particular religion and I'm still bitter and frustrated with all the dogma in the world... but when it comes down to it, I know there's something more. I know we're not alone. I know it's not really about all the little things that seem to matter SOOOO much from day to day but are meaningless in the big picture. This song reminds me of that... it says it all for me. You can see Tyrone singing it here and it'll be on his new album that comes out in January.

"More" - Tyrone Wells

Sometimes I get so tired just trying to find a place to lay my head
I look up to the sky
I feel the warmest light comfort me.

I've seen the great heights reminding me I'm alive.
I don't want to die.
I don't want to waste another day or night.
I know there's something more than what we're living for.
I see it in the stars, I feel it on the shore...
I know there's something.

I think we're all afraid that we might be alone down here.
We all want to have some faith.
At least that's true in my case... to just believe.

I've seen the great heights reminding me I'm alive.
I don't want to die.
I don't want to waste another day or night.
I know there's something more than what we're living for.
I see it in the stars, I feel it on the shore...
I know there's something.

This world could crumble into the ocean.
This could all end tonight.
I undermine You, then try to find You - my only Source of light.

I'm breathing out...
and breathing...

I am alive!
I don't want to die.
I don't want to waste another day or night.
I know there's something more than what we're living for.
I see it in the stars, I feel it on the shore.

I know that I'm alive.
I don't want to die.
I don't waste another day or night.
I know there's something more than what we're living for.
I see it in the stars, I feel it on the shore.
I know there's something more.

Why I'm Voting for Barack Obama, Part 1: Introduction

News stories over the past few days have (understandably) been dominated by coverage of the two main candidates for the presidency: Barack Obama and John McCain. I've heard pundits and analysts giving out assessments of the candidates' strategies, I've heard the candidates themselves repeating their chosen mantras over and over again, and I've heard interviews with ordinary people talking about how they'll decide who gets their vote.

Sadly, through all of this, I haven't heard much focus on the things that really matter: the issues. People keep talking about whether or not John McCain is a hero because of his time as a POW during Vietnam, or whether or not Barack Obama's charisma will make him a better leader, or whether or not Americans are ready to elect a black man to the presidency... and so on and so forth.

But not many people are talking about the issues... the bare bones choices that the next president will make, choices that will dramatically impact all of our daily lives as national policies are shaped over the next four years. The personal characteristics of the people behind those policies matter very little to me - I want to know what they're going to DO if they're elected.

So I'm going to post several blogs discussing the policies that matter to me in this campaign. In each case, I agree with Barack Obama's policies and I disagree with John McCain's policies. I'll be sharing why, but (hopefully) in a respectful manner. I understand that not everyone will agree with me, and I honor the fact that everyone has to grapple with these issues for themselves. But I do hope people are doing just that - grappling with the issues. I hope they're not voting because of a gut feeling, or a candidate's public persona (which was probably designed by publicists and handlers for public consumption, anyway), or age or race or any of the other personal details that won't have much of an impact on the real issues that are facing our nation.

I realize these blogs might have made more of an impact earlier in the campaign, since many people have already cast their votes or made their decisions. But I also know that the issues I'm discussing here aren't going anywhere... and it's important for all of us to consider where we stand on each of them. So I believe these posts will remain relevant long after the presidential election - regardless of who wins - as we all consider the direction this country should head in the years to come.

*** Note: I'm only going to use information about the candidates' policies that I get from their own websites and promotional material. I won't be listening to their assessments of each other's policies or the opinions of third parties, since those can be easily skewed. I'm getting the descriptions of their opinions and policies "straight from the horse's mouth."

50 Things You Might Not Know About Me...

1. I once spent the night on a working bison ranch in Wyoming. Did you know modern-day wranglers use all-terrain vehicles instead of horses?
2. I was so disturbed by the movie “Clockwork Orange” that I threw up afterwards.
3. During my first two years of college I frequented frat parties… but I only pretended to like the taste of beer. Now I actually enjoy drinking beer, but I rarely attend big parties or go to bars.
4. I’m a Scorpio and I was born in the Year of the Snake.
5. One of my favorite childhood memories is eating ripe, juicy cherry tomatoes straight from the bushes in our backyard with my best friend, Anna.
6. I always thought I was a cat person. I’ve owned (at least) twelve of them in my lifetime…
7. … but now I’ve got a German Shepherd-Blue Heeler mix named Abby and she’s the light of my life. She’s the best hiking companion a girl could ask for.
8. I was a girl scout off-and-on until eighth grade. I loved selling the cookies, but I was always jealous of Boy Scouts who learned to do cool things like building campfires and whittling.
9. Landmark Education has changed my life… for the better.
10. I declared myself a vegetarian at age twelve and I’ve stuck to it. The only things I miss are Gorton’s fish sticks and my mom’s chicken nuggets.
11. I could listen to Bob Marley or Bob Dylan for the rest of my life.
12. The greatest concert I ever attended was The Violent Femmes at The Boathouse in Norfolk, Virginia in 1996. But these days, any show by Tyrone Wells is a close runner-up.
13. The blast at the Pentagon on September 11, 2001 was loud enough to awaken me in my apartment in Alexandria, VA, several miles away. It took me until 4:00 that afternoon to find out that my mother was alright, and I’ll never take her for granted again.
14. I’m the only person in my immediate family with blue eyes. Of course, it’s a pretty small family…
15. In separate incidents, I have accidentally cut off the tips of BOTH of my thumbs. No worries, though… they’ve both grown back in due time.
16. I have almost nine thousand songs saved on my computer. I make a pretty mean mix-CD.
17. My favorite comfort food is lasagna… extra gooey… lots of cheese, lots of sauce. But homemade macaroni and cheese comes in at a close second.
18. I use a tiny little television set for watching DVDs, but I haven’t watched actual TV in over ten years. I’ve heard about reality TV, but I don’t really get it… it sounds like a bunch of people making fools of themselves while the rest of America laughs at their expense, and that’s not my style.
19. I own at least five journals that I’ve started and abandoned over the years. Most of them only have two or three entries.
20. My partner and I won first place in the JV Division of the American Debate Association’s National Championship in 1996… that’s right – I’m a national champion, so don’t ever pick a verbal fight with me.
21. Some words that I love: Patagonia, proposition, fan-tabulous, and Catalina (that one’s for my old friend, Jen).
22. My parents tape-recorded me at age three and called the tape “Amy the Wunnerful.” At the end of the tape, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I loudly declared my dream of becoming “a mommy.”
23. The bottoms of my feet are very calloused.
24. Intentionally misspelled words – like Kwik Mart – really annoy me.
25. My favorite book is Hope for the Flowers by Trina Paulus. In fact, I like to give away copies of the book to friends and leave copies in random places for strangers to stumble upon. So keep your eyes open…
26. I once went over a month without speaking to anyone… intentionally. It was one of the most powerful experiences I’ve had in my lifetime.
27. I’ve seen every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer… multiple times. Joss Whedon is a genius.
28. I dance in the car, especially when strangers are watching.
29. I tried my own mini-Super Size Me experiment last month. I hadn’t eaten fast food in eight years, but I tried eating it once a day for two weeks. Let’s just say it didn’t turn out well… and I won’t be eating fast food again anytime soon.
30. As you may have noticed, I really like ellipses…
31. As a child, I spent three years on an island that was 18 miles long and 11 miles wide. Cows outnumbered people two to one, and I remember sticking my hands through wooden fences with fistfuls of sugar cubes for the cows and horses.
32. I say a silent prayer every time I see road kill.
33. I’ve developed a recent obsession with getting back in touch with people from waaaaay back in the day, like middle school. It’s amazing how much we still have in common. I guess the things that make a good friend at age 12 aren’t that different from the things that make a good friend at age 30.
34. I’m a teacher… right down to my bones. I was put on this planet to make a difference in the lives of children, and I’m really good at it.
35. I often find myself drawn to artists, musicians, and other creative people.
36. I spent almost two years living at a yoga center as part of their Spiritual Lifestyle Program. Every now and then, I wish I’d never left…
37. I love action movies and science fiction books.
38. My father was in the Air Force, so we moved quite a bit while I was growing up. I still find myself getting the itch to move on every few years, so I try to pacify it by traveling as often as I can.
39. I went to high school with Allen Iverson. I’m afraid it ruined basketball for me, since nothing else can ever compare to watching him run circles around the other high school players.
40. I’m a bit of a perfectionist and I like to be in control… but both of these tendencies seem to be mellowing with age.
41. I feel safest when I’m surrounded by mountains.
42. I am definitely not a morning person, though I no longer stay up until all hours of the night… at least, not on a regular basis.
43. I’m an only child. I’m sometimes jealous of my friends who had big families and who lived in the same hometown for most of their lives.
44. I read a lot, and I read quickly. I love anything written by Neil Gaiman, Guy Gavriel Kay, David Sedaris, Jacqueline Carey, Daniel Quinn, Orson Scott Card, Philip Pullman, Ian McEwan, Annie Lamott… the list goes on and on.
45. I’m a member of a local CSA farm, and I love it! Veggies taste so much better when you know the farmer who picked them.
46. My politics would best be described as very liberal. I’m an idealist to my core, I believe a society that doesn’t work for everyone isn’t worth much, and I’ve taught children who were born with the deck stacked against them. It’s not something I can turn away from… and neither should you.
47. I want to learn to ski or snowboard.
48. I love making art, especially collage and photo art.
49. It’s a constant struggle to keep my house and my car neat. I’m an organized person, but the sense of order is often hidden beneath a surface layer of “stuff.”
50. Last summer I took myself on a last-minute, ten-day trip to Sydney, Australia. I booked the trip less than a week before the flight left, and I didn’t even have a passport. Now I know that I can make anything happen when I put my mind to it…

Hello... Love... Are You Out There???

What happened to the days when people married their high school sweethearts?

What happened to the days when people stayed together for decades without wondering if they were missing out on something better or playing the field to size up the competition?

What happened to the days when people couldn't wait to get married because of all the things they weren't allowing themselves to do until AFTER that sacred ceremony (ahem... I think you know what I'm talking about here...)?

Don't get me wrong... I know those days haven't disappeared completely. And I also know that I've phrased these questions to present a highly romanticized version of old-fashioned love.

But I'm starting to feel like there's an epidemic of independence among my generation. We were so eager to do things differently than our parents that we walked away from some traditions that weren't so bad to start with.

So now I find myself in a bit of a predicament at age 30. I'm single... and at times I'm lonely.

I'm not lonely in a day-to-day, sitting-alone-in-my-room-being-depressed kind of way. I have lots of amazing friends and a fairly active social life. I attend events that interest me and I've got plenty of people to call when I need to chat.

But I'm lonely in a deep, abiding, who-will-I-share-the-rest-of-my-life-with kind of way.

I want someone that loves me just the way I am... someone that I can love completely, too. I want the security of knowing I don't have to be playing mind games and staying one step ahead of my partner. I want someone to share my secrets with. And I want to be a mother, with an amazing father by my side.

I'm not the only thirty-something person I know in this situation... in fact more of my friends are single than married. And while the single life has plenty of benefits, many of us are beginning to feel an urge to settle down.

But where do you go when you're ready to settle down? Where do you find true love?

I never realized how easy it was to date in high school and college until I started to seriously consider the idea of dating as an adult a few years back.

Back then, we were surrounded by people in our age group who shared lots of things in common... if nothing else, we were in the same classes so we always had something to talk about. And our "world" was small enough back then that it wasn't too difficult to figure out who was single and who was already in a relationship.

Now we have.... Internet dating... and speed dating... and bars... and Craigslist... yeeecccchh.

Don't worry, I haven't given up on love. But I am asking for help:

1. Do you know any fantastic (and single) guys who are equally frustrated with the challenges of meeting great women who are looking for committed relationships? Send 'em to this blog or give 'em my phone number...

2. Do you know of other ways to meet people... ways that actually allow you to get to know one another and share common interests, rather than just getting drunk and trying to look cool? Share 'em in the comments section or give me a call and let me know...

3. Do you have any other words of inspiration or advice? Lemme know, please...

Until then, I'll leave you with this quote from Leo Buscaglia:

"Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain."

Make New Friends, But Keep the Old...

This weekend I had dinner with two friends that I haven't seen in eighteen years!

My father was in the Air Force, so we moved quite a bit when I was young. Of all the moves, the toughest one for me was leaving Alexandria, Louisiana in 1990, the summer between 7th and 8th grades.

You see, for the first time in my life I had real friends. Not the kind of friends that liked the same My Little Pony toys as me or showed up to play dates arranged by my mom, but real friends. I had a group of friends that I loved hanging out with... friends I had chosen for myself... friends I could tell secrets to. And we were finally old enough to walk to each other's houses after school or stay up late at slumber parties.

And then I moved... boy did it suck leaving all that behind to be the "new girl" in eighth grade.

My Louisiana friends and I promised to keep in touch, but that's a tough promise for a twelve-year-old to keep, so it wasn't long before we lost contact altogether... until Facebook intervened and we reconnected a few months ago.

And it turns out one of them lives in Portland, and another is seriously considering moving to Portland sometime soon.

So Becky and Linda and I met up for dinner downtown this weekend and it was a blast!

Of course we were nervous that we wouldn't have anything in common. A lot changes between seventh grade and adulthood, and we had no way of knowing in what direction each of our lives had gone during the past eighteen years.

But after a few hours of laughing, reminiscing, and catching up on each other's lives, here's what we decided: some things never change, and the things that make you choose your friends when you're twelve are the SAME things you look for in a friend when you're thirty.

It just reaffirms my belief that we start out as wise as we'll ever get, and that children really do have all the answers.

Growing Up Before My Very Own Eyes...

We all grow up. We wake up one day and realize the world looks different from how it looked just weeks or months or years before. And if we're particularly astute, we notice that the world hasn't really changed that much. We've changed.

We're usually not aware of the growing up while it's happening.

But every now and then we find ourselves in a magical moment - a moment when everything slows down just a bit and we realize our worldview is shifting right before our eyes... that things will never be the same again... that in some way, our life from here on out will be defined as "before this" and "after this."

For me, that moment came in an underground nightclub in Paris, France when I was seventeen years old. Giddy from champagne and floating across the dance floor in the arms of the most gorgeous French man I'd ever seen, I grew up.

It's hard to say exactly what changed. I guess it dawned on me that I exist... that I really, really exist. I have free will. I am a separate entity from everyone else on the planet. I have my own life, and I can do whatever I want to do with it.

Until that point on the dance floor, the boundaries in my life were all created by other people. But in that moment I realized I can cross those boundaries.

It's funny... I didn't really cross any boundaries that night. I didn't even kiss that gorgeous French man. But I knew I could, and that made all the difference.

It was Annie Lennox playing in the background. I can still hear the opening bars to "No More I Love You's." Shoooo be doo be doo doo doo... aaaah-ahhh. To this day, every time I hear that song I remember. And every time I hear it, I wonder when the next magical moment will come for me.

How about you? When was your last magical moment?

Packing... and children... and selling out... and freedom

I've been packing my things all day. My new job at Nike has inspired me to make the big move across town to Beaverton. That's right... Beaverton. The "not-Portland" of Portland, Oregon. That little voice in my head (you know, the one that used to run my life before I got wise to it's presence) keeps whispering "You've done it Amy... you've sold your soul." After all, I'm working for a HUGE corporation and moving to Beaverton.

But here's the interesting thing: I'm really excited about the changes that are happening in my life right now.

Until this year, life always looked like a series of choices between two extremes: black or white, chocolate or vanilla, marriage or freedom, sell-out corporate job or lifetime of poverty.

Then I grew up... somehow, when I wasn't really paying attention, I grew up. And now I look at things a little differently.

You see, I used to think those choices defined who I was, so each choice was a really, really big deal.

But in the past year or so, I've found this "me" person inside... and she's there all the time... through all the choices... wherever I go. Defining her isn't so simple anymore. She exists all on her own, fully formed.

Some of the choices I make fit her like a well-worn sweater pulled out of the closet on cold winter mornings, while others are a bit scratchy and tight through the shoulders. But she's still there, intact, the whole time.

Now I have the freedom to "try on" lots of different choices and see how they feel. I don't have to worry about losing myself in the transitions... I couldn't do it if I tried... I'm in there, through thick and thin. And I don't feel any pressure to define myself "correctly." I realize now that was always for other people's benefit, anyway... and it doesn't seem too important these days.

So I spent the day packing... and the whole time I listened to the kids laughing and playing outside my apartment window. And it made me smile. Those kids, they're onto something...